Honor: 13 [ Give / Take ]
9 entries this month
Now remember kids20:46 Mar 26 2007
Times Read: 710
This pic jus totally amused me!
love
16:32 Mar 26 2007
Times Read: 717
I once again had another one of those dreams I didn't want to wake up from. It was even better then before, but when I woke up this morning I felt despair and loneliness. Actually I'm kind of depressed this morning, I almost feel like crying. I'm totally in love still with the same man and I just can't get rid of his face, our memories the way I felt with him. No matter how hard I try it won't go away, he even haunts my dreams now! If I can't have him I just want it to all go away, I have not seen him since June so I have no idea how things would be if we seen each other again.
It's not like just liking someone cause they're so fucking sexy, that's all besides the point. I know there are shit loads of sexy ass guys out there, but this one I can't describe. He is like the guy that sticks in my heart I want more then just him physically he is the one I want. I've never really wanted to actually be with someone, everyone I've dated so far I've no idea why I did, there was no point. I didn't want a future with them I didn't love them, fuck I didn't even find them attractive.
It's completly different with this man thought, I want him sooooooooooo bad! He is the sexiest guy alive and no other man ever made me feel so good. I can never forget about him even if I tried, that just wouldn't happen. I want to give up but for some reason I still have not been able to, for once giving up is not the easy solution. Oh why do I feel this way I wish I didn't I wish I could just let go...
♥
5's
19:52 Mar 25 2007
Times Read: 725
well here's my new record:
PiNkLuSt
The House of Caomhnóir-an-Eolas
Wins: 83
Losses: 37
Player Favor: 1500
:: bitch mode on ::
14:58 Mar 23 2007
Times Read: 731
Hahaha it is so very amusing my ex thinks I care enough about him to actually be effected by his lame insults. He can't hurt me because I simply don't care about him like that anymore. I'm done and have been done with him since I moved back to Cleveland. He's such a liar and he can suck it, I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. Unlike him he thinks other people make one happy...not true! Ehh whatever on to more important better things. Besides my little squabble with that douche bag I woke up in a pretty good mood today. I'm looking forward to this afternoon, I know I shouldn't but I only do this every so often. I'm also going to spend sometime with my mother, she seems to be doing much better lately. That makes me a happy camper, I'm not all cynical like I used to be. I only enjoy people's pain sometimes now, and only certain people. (like my ex) That bastard deserves to suffer and feel the pain he put me throught. He will and I don't even have to do anything about it. Just like all my other ex's he'll realize what a dumbass he is and come whining back and apologizing to me HAH! I forgive no one I give no more chances, I'm tired of wasting my time on worthless dumbasses.
I'm all about meeting new people, but as far as people who have been in my life already...I've erased them all I don't need them. The only person I still want in my life is the man I love, and call me stupid for trying but I won't give up on him! All my dreams mean something and the one I had with him keep telling me not to let go not to give up. I'll never give up not until I see it's the end which I hope it never comes to. Ah well anyhoo it's probably time to wake and bake before I get too busy and wrapped up in a buncha shit. Peace...
♥
dream
00:39 Mar 21 2007
Times Read: 740
Two nights ago I had such a wonderful dream. It was such a wonderful dream I wished it never would end. It was with the man I *coughs* still love yes I still love you know who! =/ I can't help it in my dream he finally told me how he felt about me, and it was good zehr gut! I told him how I felt and the result was exactly like I'd want it to be. When I have dreams as real and good as those kind, that means something good is heading my way soon. I hope so...
♥
*tears*
14:55 Mar 15 2007
Times Read: 752
I have not cried for a while now, but like all good things that came to an end. This morning again I cried and I wish I could keep crying it felt good to let out my pain. Somethings cannot be expressed throught a photo, or music, or poetry...such as this piercing pain I carry silently. I walk around smiling like there's nothing wrong, hah even if I didn't smile no one would ask me "hey what's wrong Lili?"
Today my mom screams she hates me and can't stand my face, as she is hitting me...she may be my mom but she has no right to touch me I'm an adult damn it! Really I could press charges, but my mom's so pathetic I'll just leave her be. See all I asked from her as she screamed"get the fuck away from me I hate you!" was to speak to me like a person. I'm not a piece of shit I am a human with a soul, with feelings, and a heart. I find it so hard to love that wench she never does anything for me, except make me feel like shit. She tries to tell me that I am all these horrible things, when really everything she is saying is true about herself.
She doesn't see it or maybe she does, but one thing is for certain. She will NEVER admit to it, she will never admit I am right and she is wrong...
♥
S'all good here.
23:32 Mar 14 2007
Times Read: 758
I've been doing a whole lot better since my "dark place" entry. Day by day I feel more like myself, and I feel pretty again. I felt so ugly with my short hair it's just not my look uh-huh! Well anyway let's see I'm glad I joined Daire's house everyone is real nice. It's nice not to have everyone kissing my ass cause I'm the coven master, and they want a promotion or to get in...ah so annyoing. It's nice to just be part of something. I don't think I'll be leaving here unless I have a real big problem with anyone, and as of now I don't let's keep it that way! :)
♥
Grrr
19:47 Mar 13 2007
Times Read: 767
Well this is the song I would like to play on my profile, but for some reason my old song will not go away. I can't get rid of it, everytime I try to the damn page says some kinda error. Soo frustrating I just want my japanese song to play damn it! Oh well I'll leave it in here till I fix this matter...
Edit: I got it to work in my profile so go listen to it there, because it's not here anymore duh...
5x5x5
03:51 Mar 12 2007
Times Read: 778
Well it's been forever (over 3 months) since I've played a game of 5's, I just got done playing a few minuets ago. I forgot how much fun this game was, althought it's been a while since I've played I still can play a real good match here's my current record go me! ^_^
PiNkLuSt
The House of Caomhnóir-an-Eolas
Wins: 79
Losses: 34
Player Favor: 1437
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